You start. You stop. You start. You stop. You start again...

Do you recognize the cycle--The Cycle of Quitting?

Do you know what you can do to interrupt the cycle when you recognize it?

The last post introduced you to the  7 Phases of the Cycle of Quitting:

1.  Excitement
    • You are motivated. You know our reason for wanting to make the change.
2.  Second Guessing
    • You are doing tasks that we are unsure of and may make you uncomfortable and you start to SECOND GUESS your abilities.
3.  Fear
    • It shows up in many forms- procrastination, resistance, avoidance. You don’t do what you are supposed to do. Fear is uncomfortable.
4.  Blame
    • Instead of dealing with the discomfort by following through on what would take you to the next level, you blame something or someone else for why you can’t move forward
5.  Overwhelm
    • Too much to think about; too much to manage. The primitive part of your brain takes over and wants to move you away from discomfort and towards comfort.
6.  Quitting
    • You Stop! You avoid what is hard and do something else’.
7.  Relief
    • No more decisions. No more discomfort. The pressure is off.    You experience relief. But there is that nagging feeling that you haven’t achieved what you really wanted.

The reality is when anything new is attempted it will raise feelings of discomfort. Our initial motive and capabilities are all questioned.
It is uncomfortable not knowing how to proceed or what the outcome will be.

I have stated before "It sucks to suck!"

However, it is all part of the learning, growing, process.

What do you do when you are in the Cycle of Quitting?

Focus on the reason why you started in the first place-
The obstacles in our path can cloud our thinking. When you feel the tug to quit, go back and realign yourself with the reason why you wanted to achieve the goal in the first place.

Why did you want to lose weight? Why do you want to earn six figures? Why did you want to start your side hustle or go back to school?

Did you want freedom? Did you want to make an impact on or for a particular group of people? Did you want more love and connection? Did you want more variety in your life?

Focusing on your purpose will keep you going through the tough times.

Focus on how far you have come
You have started to feel unsure and second-guessing yourself and have possibly started to procrastinate.

Not doing what you know you should be doing feels kinda comfortable.
Before you go all the way and give up, aka quit, focus on how far you have come.

What skills have you acquired? What physical changes or mind shifts have you experienced. Has the way you look at things changed?

You have probably put in a lot of time and energy to get to where you are.
Ask yourself, "am I willing to sacrifice all of my hard work for this bump in the road?"

Think of who you would let down
Whatever you are trying to accomplish there are people who believe in you, are supporting you and encouraging you.

Many of the reasons why you want to pursue your dreams and desires are not selfish ones, it involves your loved ones; whether it is what you want to do for them or with them.

If you give up, will you enjoy giving them an honest explanation about why you gave up: "I didn’t feel like it anymore"?

"Would you like telling your daughter, "I stopped trying to quit smoking because cigarettes are more important to me than having more golden years to spend with you?"
Would it be fun to tell your mother "I decided not to go to school because I’d rather spend all my time with my boyfriend of three months than prepare for a career that will ensure I won’t end up jobless and homeless?" - Lori Deschene, Founder of Tiny Buddha

I have been taught that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, what matters is that you gave it your best effort. So put forth your best effort no matter what the outcome. Your loved ones will appreciate it.

Focus on what you can control
I can control how I show up in relationships but I cannot control what people think of me.

I can control the amount of time and effort I put into training for a marathon but I cannot control whether I will finish in under 4hours.

I can control how prepared I am for a presentation but I cannot control the audience's level of engagement.

With all of these, I can influence the outcome but I cannot control it.
I can control the efforts I put in but I cannot control the outcomes.

By focusing on the areas where you can make a difference you will be less likely to thrown or disrupted by the areas where you can't.

When placing the focus on what you cannot control you have less energy to focus on what you can and the outcomes that you would prefer to achieve.

Clarify the difference by asking yourself "what can I control in this situation?"
List them.

Some things you can control:

  • Where you place your focus
  • Your reaction to things
  • Where you spend or invest your time
  • What food you put in your mouth
  • The amount of physical activity you do
  • Which commitments you keep

Maintain the commitment to yourself. When the thoughts or feelings of quitting come up it’s usually related to some form of fear. The discomfort of fear is a great signal to keep going.

Pushing through the discomfort is where most of the growth and change is going to take place.  

Don’t quit! Do it!  
You may not appreciate the challenges while you are going through them but when you start seeing the positive changes and the accomplishment of what you set out to do, you will appreciate your success and the sacrifices you made along the way.

"Reaching your dreams was never about the destination itself. Rather, it was about you going for it every single day, and reveling in the process no matter how grueling it can be." --
Blake Powell, writer for Mission.Org.

"Wish It. Dream it! Do it!

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Nancy Smith
Vibrant You Coaching
"Faith, Focus, Finish"
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