Hi ,

Money may not be everything but it touches every aspect of our lives.

We deal with money every day and yet, we seldom discuss it openly or take time to unravel our feelings towards it.

How would you describe your relationship with money?


When we refer to a relationship, we think mostly of our connection with people. We are able to determine whether a relationship with an individual is a good, or bad, difficult or pleasant.

We know if it makes us feel happy, loved, secure, angry, frustrated or fearful.

We understand this with people but when it comes to money we don’t even think about it.

We are not accustomed to thinking about money in terms of a relationship.

MONEY is a big part of your life.

The way you think and feel about money is going to determine your financial health and the way money shows up in your life.

Our relationship with money is formed from childhood.

We picked up values about money from those that were closest to us, our parents and family members.

We observed how they handled money, what they said about money and have internalized those values and understandings.

Who didn't hear phrases such as:

"Money doesn’t grow on trees."
"We’re not made of money’"
"Money is evil."
"You are greedy if you want more money."

Phrases like these shape our thoughts about money and become the basis or our money relationship.

Money is celebrated and it is blamed. We have a love-hate relationship with it.

Many of us would like to have more of it.

Some worry they would not be able to manage it if they had more of it.

There is so much more that can be discussed on this topic but to form a healthy relationship with money we need to clarify our thoughts and beliefs about money.

To do that I recommend this exercise.

This is a writing exercise.

You will need blank paper, a notebook or journal, and a timer.

Set a timer for 20-30 mins.

You are going to have a conversation with money.

You are going to treat money as a person and have a conversation as if you were meeting a friend after a long absence.

You can decide the setting, meeting for coffee, in your home, on a park bench……

Just write your conversation.

Introduce yourself, ask questions, write down the responses.

It is free-flowing.

There is no right or wrong.

Just keep writing for the allotted amount of time.

If you don’t know what to say write down "I don’t know what to say." but keep going.

Go wherever your thoughts, the conversation takes you.

Here are some prompts:

  • Ask Money how it is?
  • Where have you been?
  • Why are you so scarce?
  • How do I develop a better relationship with you?
  • How do I get to know you?
  • What can I do to show appreciation towards you?

Take time to get to know each other.

With all relationships, for them to be good, they need to be nurtured.

To improve your relationship with money:

  • Pay attention to it
    • Who wants to feel neglected? If your child came into the room would you just roll your eyes or ignore them. Even if busy you would acknowledge them. Money wants to be acknowledged. Pay attention to it when you are spending it and when receiving it. Set money goals. Track your income and expenditures.

  • Respect it
    • Respecting money means you understand it’s value. The way you use money demonstrates how respectful you are towards it. Appreciate what you have and all the things money allows you to do.

  • Don’t blame it
    • Money gets blamed for why we can’t do things. When we find ourselves blaming we need to look at what is triggering the response. Is it a fear of not living up to our own expectations? Educate yourself about money. Read books, take a class, listen to financial podcasts, speak to a financial advisor.

Understanding our thoughts and feelings about money will put us in a better position to develop a healthier relationship with it and with ourselves.

With any relationship, we get to know more about the other and develop a stronger sense of who we are.

"Movement is Magic"

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Nancy Smith
Vibrant You Coaching
"Faith, Focus, Finish"
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