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Good day ,

At any point, when you were attempting to make changes in your life - career, education, relationships, social life, nutrition, physical activity or your home environment - did you hear yourself asking the question  "Why am I doing this?"

Sometimes I wonder why I’m doing THIS.

Why am I pursuing entrepreneurship? Why do I want to nurture the growth of my coaching business, Vibrant You Coaching?

Why would I want to coach people who are tired of the daily routine and know there has to be more, create lives that have purpose and meaning and fun.  
It is work and I love doing it!
I am energized by it.

So why do the thoughts of letting it go come up?
Fatigue?
So many ideas and not enough time?
Overwhelmed by all there is to do?
Not knowing how to do all the tech stuff?
Those voices of comparison?

Yes and….

Can I let you in on a secret?

The thoughts of quitting are normal.
It is a normal part of the change process, for any activity we pursue?
Whether it is starting your own entrepreneurial pursuit, eating healthier, committing to regular physical activity, starting a creative activity, taking a class-- anything that is new or unfamiliar and is taking us out of our zone of comfort, will trigger the thoughts of quitting.

From my business coach, Monica Shah, I learned there is a Cycle of Quitting.
What we actually experience and shame & guilt ourselves over has been studied and is real.

The Cycle of Quitting has 7 phases:

  1. Excitement
  2. Second-guessing
  3. Fear
  4. Blame
  5. Overwhelm
  6. Quitting
  7. Relief

When we start anything we begin in the EXCITEMENT Phase. We are motivated.
We know our reason for wanting to make the change. We tell ourselves what the benefits will be. We have a sense of confidence.

We have to start making decisions, doing tasks that we are unsure of and may make us uncomfortable and then we start to SECOND GUESS ourselves.

"I don’t know enough."
"Perhaps I should think this through some more."
"Perhaps I need more experience."
"Perhaps this isn’t the right time."
"I need to research more."
"I need to speak to more people."
"I should wait until it is perfect"  
"Perhaps I should lose some weight before going to the gym."

We will do and say anything but address the tasks that are making us feel unsure and causing us angst.  

FEAR- Fear is sneaky. It is not always easy to recognize. It shows up as procrastination, blame, resistance, avoidance. We don’t do what we are supposed to do.
Fear is uncomfortable.

BLAME- Because fear is uncomfortable, we want to get rid of it.
Here comes BLAME to the rescue. We hear ourselves saying things like:
"I have no time."
"I have to take care of the kids."
"My boss won’t approve of that."
"My spouse/partner won’t let me."
"I don’t have enough money."
"There is just so much going on right now."

Instead of dealing with the discomfort by following through on what would take us to the next level, we put our energy and focus onto something or someone else.

OVERWHELM--
Too much on our plate.
Too many emotions.
Too many things that have to be managed.
Our brain can’t handle all the action. The primitive part of our brain takes over and wants to move us towards what is familiar and away from what is not familiar.
Away from discomfort and towards comfort.
The message we get from our primitive brain is  "Stay in your safe zone!" "Stop!"  "STOP!!"

This is when we quit.

Quitting is avoiding what is hard and doing any mechanism of escape-- eating, completing easy tasks, watching a marathon of your favorite show, going out, cleaning, sleeping.
There are so many ways we quit.
As soon as we quit there is a sense of relief!

Relief - "Ah" - the sigh of relief!
No more decisions.
No more discomfort.
The pressure is off.

We are relieved but we aren’t getting what we truly want.
We may continue to use our escape mechanisms for a while but at some point the dream, the desire returns.
We talk ourselves through and perhaps outline what will be different this time and the cycle begins again.  

Why is knowing about this cycle important?
Knowing that the cycle exists and that it is a normal part of pursuing change means we do not have to judge ourselves for giving up.   
Now, we can identify which phase of the cycle we are in and do something about it.

Knowing that the cycle of quitting is a real thing is half the battle.
The second half is recognizing it and taking steps to interrupt the cycle.

In the next newsletter, I will share strategies on how to Interrupt the Cycle.
If you already have strategies that keep you going in spite of those pesky thoughts of quitting, please share.
You never know, they may be included in the next posting.


Until next time,

~Nancy
"Movement is Magic"

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Nancy Smith
Vibrant You Coaching
"Faith, Focus, Finish"
 
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Vibrant You Health Coaching, 2201 Palmer Ave, New Rochelle, NY 10801, United States
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