I am going to let you in on a secret. You may not want to hear it but here it is.
"Nothing in your life has meaning."
That’s it!
NOTHING in your life has meaning except the meaning YOU give to it. When I say nothing, this includes material items as well as the people in your life. What am I talking about? Think about these questions:
Why is it that someone could say something about you that and you do not pay any attention but a family member or friend says the same thing and you take it seriously?
We assign different meaning to their opinions.
Have you ever walked into your child’s room, noticed the piles of clothes on the floor, bed unmade, room cluttered and disorganized? When you askthem to clean it up, you are presented with a
"what’s wrong with my room?" look.
You can't function in a disorganized space while another person is not bothered.
If I tell you "it is raining"; "traffic is moving slowly"; "the trains are delayed" or "its 90 degrees outside", what are your thoughts?
These statements are neutral but we attach meaning to them based on our individual past experiences, good and bad, fears, goals, interests, likes and dislikes and our accomplishments.
Nothing has inherent meaning. We assign meaning to everything in our life.
If you understand this you will understand that everything we feel is based on the meaning we attach to something. We mistakenly believe that our feelings are reality. It is only YOUR reality, which can be changed.
So… If nothing has inherent meaning in our life - objects, circumstances & people … Then it follows that we can CHOOSE the meaning, the value, and importance that we assign to everything in our life…. If we choose, then we can influence the way we feel about everything. Empowering?! Heck yeah! In a recent Monday Muse FB video, I shared an exercise from the book 'The Achievement Habit, Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life' by Bernard Roth.
For the exercise, I sat quietly and looked at all the
objects around me. Whenever I looked at something I said out loud "THE (object or person) HAS NO MEANING".
For example, if looking at the couch I would state out loud "this couch has no meaning". I continued with this for about a minute and noticed the feelings that came up after each item or person that I stated had no meaning.
There were
some items where it was easy to accept that they had no meaning and others where I felt the resistance. I have to be honest that it was the same for some people as well (NOT anyone reading this).
Items that were more difficult to accept as having no meaning were items that were gifts from people that I feel close to. I attached sentiment for the person to the item and that is what gave the item it’s meaning. You probably notice something similar when you are ‘spring cleaning’ or trying to downsize.
People & relationships where I experience mutual respect and admiration were not easy to accept as not having meaning. It may be difficult to think that people have no meaning but you know there are people in your office or that you walk by in the street that you have not assigned any meaning to. They remain neutral.
Even people in your immediate family don’t have inherent meaning. You have cultivated a relationship and assigned meaning to that relationship - good or bad.
We can rid ourselves of negative feelings and increase our happiness by giving things that negatively affect us
different meanings. It is US, not external circumstances that control the quality of our life.
If we determine the meaning then it is to our benefit to allocate meaning & importance to things, circumstances, situations, and people that empower our personal growth and in achieving what we want to achieve.
I invite you to try the "Nothing has meaning exercise" and notice the feelings that arise for you. Remember you choose and can change the meanings assigned to everything- your job, your weight, activities you participate in. Everything. I encourage you to choose in the direction of feeling good. If you feel good, you will do good and you will get closer to where you want to be.
Choose wisely, ~Nancy Movement is Magic!
Nancy Smith Vibrant You Coaching "Faith, Focus, Finish"
