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Resistance to change shows up in all of us.
Even those of us who are assisting others in identifying and working through their own resistance.
I was recently reminded of this when I met with some female friends for dinner.
These were friends I hadn’t seen in a while.
It was a meeting of the minds.
The objective was to discuss a collaborative project where the three of us would be able to use each of our strengths and talents to create a training or workshop.
Ideas were being tossed around but we were also engaging in conversation about life.
If you are talking about inspiring others, individual stories are going to be part of the conversation.
We are eventually going to speak of our own challenges and what gets in our way.
The question of, "do people know what their blocks or challenges are?" came up. One person said they don’t because if they did, they would make the change.
My opinion is that we do, at some level, we have an idea.
However, that does not mean we know what or how to make the changes or make those changes stick.
Sometimes we make ‘adjustments’ without making any significant changes.
A change is really an inside job.
We need to take on the habits, behaviors, and values of who we want to be.
We need to ask the question, "Who is the type of person that gets results I want?"
‘Build the identity and let the results follow’.
~James Clear
But I digress.
Back to dinner---
Sharing occurred and one of my friends shared her challenge with weight loss and exercise. She shared that she noticed the weight increase.
She noted that she had gotten away from eating the breakfast she used to eat and the activity that she used to do.
She noted that she started to walk a little more and verbalized it wasn’t enough but she didn’t know how to fit in more activity.
Suggestions were shared but I could see, hear and feel her resistance.
"I can’t; I’m too tired; no energy; no that won’t work."
It was pointed out that but her reaction left an impression on
me as you can see.
On my walk the next day it was playing in my mind.
Resistance!!
This is why we believe change is futile.
This is why we continue doing what we always do and wish for a different outcome.
This is why we get and stay stuck.
The resistance was clear to me but not that obvious to her.
In the conversation, I could hear…
I want... but I am not willing to do differently.
I can’t … translated to I won’t.
The energy she was saying she was lacking would be restored if she was open to changing her routine and her approach. Even if it included 5mins of doing something different each day.
If you find yourself saying " I can’t"; "no, it’s not possible", that’s
resistance talking.
My message today is to remind you to Be Open.
Resistance is a roadblock to claiming the identity that you want; to claiming the results you want.
Focusing on resistance is a sure way of maintaining the status quo.
"What you resist, persists."
-- C. G. Jung
Instead of focusing on why it won’t work, ask "How can I make this work?"
Asking this question allows you to open up, be creative, see possibilities.
Wherever or whatever you choose to focus your attention and energy, will become your reality.
Allow yourself to be open and allow the suggestions in.
Play with them, try them on.
Pretend you are going into a fitting room.
You are trying the articles of clothing on. How do they fit?
What do you own that it
would go with?
Does it need some alterations?
Or is it an overall bad fit and needs to be put back on the rack?
Try on the suggestion asking " how could this work for me?"
A piece of the suggestion may be applicable, perhaps it needs some alterations.
Try on the suggestions prior to discarding.
Be open!
Change your focus and change your results.
Wish it. Dream it. Do it!
If you would like to receive inspiration and tips to get you unstuck and out of your own way, sign up for our newsletter below that goes out twice a month.
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Nancy Smith
Vibrant You Coaching
"Faith, Focus, Finish"
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