I have to admit that I was seduced again. It is sneaky.
I will
begin with a passage from Pema Chodron’s book "When Things Fall Apart."
"Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It sounded too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said, "Thank
you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission". Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied, " My weapons are that I talk fast and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don't do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power." In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear."
Oh, that four letter word. That thing that stops us from taking the steps required to accomplish what we state we want--F.E.A.R.
I was
doing fine, recognizing fear and doing what I needed to do anyway. Then... I am not sure what happened. I started to notice something wasn’t right. Low mood, lethargy, tackling many tasks and accomplishing a lot less than my time and effort indicated. I was beginning to think I was coming down with a cold.
Something woke me up. It may have been the morning I decided to have a journal conversation with the black cloud that seemed to be hovering in my vision. It may have been
hearing the above passage. The catalyst is not as important as recognizing that the low mood, the distractions were fear.
It is amazing how insidious it is, using different tactics to take over your life. Be aware that it is always there. The bravery is in facing it, not resisting it or trying to get rid of it.
Face it. Stare it down. Don’t do what it says. You may want to show it the hand, some may want to give it the finger :-). Whatever you do, don’t be seduced.
I share this to remind you that fear is always lurking. It will creep up on you in some subtle and not so subtle ways. Whatever your pursuit, fear will attempt to stop you. You will be meeting your fitness targets and then ‘wham’ you aren’t working out anymore and your eating is off track. Recognize some
version of fear is presenting itself. What we resist persists so let fear get in your face, but not in your head.
Now I am back to recognizing that cloud for what it was. I am setting my daily targets and really focusing on the feeling I will experience when I push through to the side of accomplishment.
I am also imploring that when fear, in its many disguises, presents itself you will show it the hand and assess for yourself that there is something more important than fear waiting for you.
Bye Fear-lica!
~Nancy Wish It. Dream It. Do It!
Nancy Smith Vibrant You Coaching "Faith, Focus, Finish"
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